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Community Overcomes My Intimidation & Fear

I’ve been writing stories and dabbling in poetry for as long as I can remember, but it wasn’t until 2017 that I realized I could pursue it with seriousness. I started researching workshops, conferences, how to get published, community/library events—anything that would help me progress and hone my craft.

I found The Authors’ Zone, Conversations and Connections in Pittsburgh, but most importantly, I found Lit Youngstown. The writers I was connecting with were published, working in the publishing industry, had MFAs, and/or at the very least a degree that aided in their writing career. I had none of these. I’d never even received or given a critique. To say I was intimidated is an understatement.

What became extremely evident, however, is that the writing community is beyond welcoming. Every publisher, editor, and fellow writer I spoke with was more than willing to share their knowledge and the tips they’d learned over the years. They never turned me away or avoided my questions.

The place that has always felt the most like home, though, has always been Lit Youngstown’s Writer’s Circle. Initially, I was so scared to share my work because I thought for sure it would be torn apart and everything would be wrong with every word I wrote, every punctuation mark made. Instead, I was told what worked well and, when told what could be improved, I was given suggestions on how to improve it. That was so important to my growth. I’ve been exposed to such a variety of work. Plays, musicals, flash fiction, sections of novels, memoirs, traditional poetry, experimental poetry…Seriously, such a wide variety in so many voices.

I started going to more Lit Youngstown events. This literary non-profit that never charges more than what’s absolutely necessary (if anything at all) for their workshops and events also does everything in their power to make these events as accessible and beneficial to the communities of Youngstown and the Mahoning Valley as possible.

Even after all the love I’ve received, I still have had doubts about my writing capabilities (as mentioned in previous posts), but the Writer’s Circle has always been there to pick me up.

That was a lot of words to basically say that Lit Youngstown is my writing home.

That being the case, you can understand the overwhelming gratitude and validation this self-taught writer felt when she was asked to serve on the Board of Directors. I feel like this is my opportunity to attempt to give back everything I’ve received. I will do my best to give the readers, writers, and community that Lit Youngstown serves the warm, welcoming embrace that I’ve alway felt.

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How Depression Set Me Back

I was in a car accident last year. I’ve been working through a lot of issues with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I was having a hard time engaging in anything. When I dove into NaNoWriMo, that really helped provide a distraction and a purpose outside of my doctors’ appointments and moved my focus from what had happened to me to what was happening to the characters in my book. After NaNoWriMo, my husband and I were consumed by family functions, birthdays, and our anniversary until about mid-January.

After things calmed down, I should have jumped right back into writing like I had been in November, but I didn’t. I struggled intensely with depression and felt unmotivated to do anything. I worked, spent time with my family and best friend and ignored the rest of the world pretty much. I occasionally logged into Facebook and Twitter to see what my author friends were up to, but didn’t do much in the way of editing my book without the encouragement of my husband. He was really the one pushing me to open up my laptop and get through a chapter or two.

In the last two months I’ve become more active in the writer community again. I’m doing better emotionally and working through some of the issues that were holding me back. Writing is one of the very few things that truly makes me feel like I’m escaping. It transports me to a different place. I get consumed by the words as they show up on the screen. What better therapy could I ask for?

I may still be slow at getting back to the point I was in November, but I am working my way there! I’m going to keep surrounding myself with other writers and things that encourage me to push on. If you’re going through anything similar, feel free to reach out to me. Maybe we can help each other out!