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Sitting at my writing desk.

Surely there is something better you might say. And I would have to concede that there may be. To me, however, there is very little to naught that compares with it. A possessive, intimate kiss or the arms of a child wrapped tight around the neck. Those may compare. This is something so solitary in sensation that I have been unable to conjure the words to express how it draws me. It calls to me even when I am miles away. A temptress leading me from this world and into that which only exists in black and white. To people I’ve never met, but with whom I’ve had many conversations. To places I know in minute detail, but on whose ground I have never set foot. It drags me like wind pulls snow to drift across a barren road. And when it achieves its goal I too feel complete.

I know it’s been a long time since I posted anything. I know that you are supposed to be consistent if you are going to have blog posts on your page. Yes…I am a terrible blogger! I haven’t updated my actual blog (An Attempt At Release) in forever. Just looked – May of last year. Yikes.

Anyway, I was sitting down to write today and the words above came to me. I feel a sense of peace wash over me when I am getting ready to write. I know it is what I am truly meant to do because it is what brings me the most peace and happiness. I struggle with anxiety, depression, and PTSD, but all of that disappears when I sit down to write. I don’t feel like that broken person when I am sitting in front of my computer writing my stories or poetry. I am just an author telling stories. It is so freeing and I have no idea what can compare to it.

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2018 End of the Year Goals

I really only have one major goal for the rest of the year: to finish revision 4 of My Life Is a Dream. All other goals will be secondary. I counted up how many chapters I have to edit, their word count, page count, how many weeks (approximately) it would take to edit them (if I continued working on other things at the same time) and then how many weeks are left in the year. I can do it! I realized I can finish revision 4 by the end of the year!

I’ve been working on this book since November of last year. I started it for NaNoWriMo. I took a break from it in December 2017 and read it for the first time in February of 2018. It was obvious there was work to be done and so I made comments about the changes I wanted to make. That was revision 2.

Revision 3 was a working revision. Some things were fixed immediately while others were commented on and left for a future revision. I did a lot of researching while in revision 3. I had been having (and still have) a hard time classifying my novel. It’s a realistic drama that has a bit of romance and young adult elements although it doesn’t exactly fit into either of those categories. Maybe it would be contemporary? I don’t know and fitting it into a specific genre isn’t my biggest concern right now.

In the middle of revision 3 I was asked the question “What does your character want?”. It stopped me from editing any further. I took two weeks off from the book because I realized that in the middle of my book my character was not progressing. It was a lot of “here’s what she’s doing” but I didn’t give any explanation as to why she was doing what she was doing. I figured out what she wanted and what might get in her way and started revision 4.

Revision 4 has been difficult for me because I keep learning new techniques and gathering tips and tricks from more experienced authors that I want to apply. I have found a lot of ways, I think, to fix what my novel lacked. I also think I am avoiding most amateur mistakes, but I’m an amateur so…who knows. 😉

As I’ve gone through revision 4, I’ve thought to myself “Should I just comment on this and fix it in the next revision?” and “Is this part just too much of a challenge for right now?” I don’t know why I was in a rush to finish the revision, but, thankfully, I always decided against waiting. I’ve now decided that revision 4 will be my final revision before I get it in front of Beta Readers! I’m excited and terrified.

I know that all work needs to be let out into the world at some point. I also know that I could keep editing and keep editing forever and never be satisfied to let anyone see it…EVER! There is a part of me that does not care at all about publishing. I write because I love to write. It’s my passion. I’ve been writing stories for as long as I’ve known how to write. It’s just something in my soul that needs to be let out. Whether the writing is good or bad, I’m not sure. I, of course, would like to think it’s good and I have my little troop of fans (i.e. my husband, parents, family, the usual). I’ve had a few compliments from complete strangers that also give me hope, but in reality, I need to be published to know if my writing is actually worth anything.

Now don’t get things twisted, if I do get something published and I receive wretched reviews, that will not deter me from writing. I just won’t look to the masses for my gratification. My gratification will come from seeing the words trapped in my heart spilling onto the white and black of my screen.

I am, however, veering sharply away from my topic. Goals! 2018 Goals specifically! If you are following me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, please keep me accountable. Ask me how the revision is coming. Remind me to stay on track. Remind me that I can get it done and that, no, it does not need to be perfect before people see it. Beta Readers are bound to find errors, that’s what they’re there for, right? To make it better? Obviously, I should be giving my Beta Readers something polished, but they will see what I’m missing because I’m so close to it, right? Oh geez…now I’m freaking myself out.

This post has been long enough. Thanks for dropping by! Keep writing what you know and love!

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How Depression Set Me Back

I was in a car accident last year. I’ve been working through a lot of issues with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I was having a hard time engaging in anything. When I dove into NaNoWriMo, that really helped provide a distraction and a purpose outside of my doctors’ appointments and moved my focus from what had happened to me to what was happening to the characters in my book. After NaNoWriMo, my husband and I were consumed by family functions, birthdays, and our anniversary until about mid-January.

After things calmed down, I should have jumped right back into writing like I had been in November, but I didn’t. I struggled intensely with depression and felt unmotivated to do anything. I worked, spent time with my family and best friend and ignored the rest of the world pretty much. I occasionally logged into Facebook and Twitter to see what my author friends were up to, but didn’t do much in the way of editing my book without the encouragement of my husband. He was really the one pushing me to open up my laptop and get through a chapter or two.

In the last two months I’ve become more active in the writer community again. I’m doing better emotionally and working through some of the issues that were holding me back. Writing is one of the very few things that truly makes me feel like I’m escaping. It transports me to a different place. I get consumed by the words as they show up on the screen. What better therapy could I ask for?

I may still be slow at getting back to the point I was in November, but I am working my way there! I’m going to keep surrounding myself with other writers and things that encourage me to push on. If you’re going through anything similar, feel free to reach out to me. Maybe we can help each other out!

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An Update…Finally

When I did my NaNoWriMo post, I had intentions of creating a follow up post in December. December came and went and I made the excuse in my head that I was too busy with family festivities. Then January came and went, then February, then March. You get the idea. So here I am, finally writing to update you on how NaNoWriMo went. It went great! I’ve never enjoyed myself more. I spent over 34 hours getting to my 50,000 word goal and those hours made me feel more alive than any other time. That deadline really brought out the excitement in me. I couldn’t wait to get home from my day job to sit down and write. I attended virtual write-ins and went to local write-ins as well. It was so exciting to connect with other authors. Even though we were all working on something different, we were connected by one common goal: complete 50,000 words in 30 days.

The author community is an amazing thing. We support each other, encourage each other, and provide advice. We technically are opponents in the grand scheme of things, but that doesn’t stop us from feeling the constant need to help each other out. I received a lot of encouragement throughout November and the encouragement continues. It really pushes me to write more, to write better. I’ve started going to a local writers’ group. I’ve expanded my network of writers and it just amazes me how good authors can be at providing criticism without being aggressive and mean.

I purchased Scrivener and am using it to organize my book. Wow! What an amazing tool! I definitely would recommend it. I let my book cool until February and came back to it with a fresh set of eyes. I’ve read through it once and revised a couple small issues and left comments for the sections that require larger edits. My next step is to take different sections with me to my writers’ group to ask for advice on how to move forward with them. Hey! Maybe I’ll even post it here for some advice!

I’m going to be adding a couple more posts to explain a little bit deeper why I had been pushing off creating an update post and why it’s taken me so long to get back into the swing of things. I want to keep my posts somewhat short so that my readers don’t feel bogged down by the sheer length of the post. Look out for that one soon.

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NaNoWriMo

NaNoWriMo is only 2 days away! I just learned about this amazing crazy month about, well…a month ago! I decided not to cheat and use this as an opportunity to edit my current novel, but as a way to get a new idea down on paper. I’ve had this idea for a long time, but have not wanted to work on any other novel but my current piece that I decided to not the idea down and save it for after I’ve finished my first novel.

Once I found out the rules for National Novel Writing Month, writing a brand new, 50,000 word book from scratch opened the door wide for me to be able to get out my first “shitty draft” (to quote Anne Lamott) of this new idea while still keeping my first novel as my main focus. 50,000 words is extremely intimidating! EXTREMELY!

I did discover, in a dry run using a writing prompt, that it may be doable. I sat down with a timer, my writing prompt (thank you Reddit!), and my laptop. I set the timer for an hour and began! I was able to write 2,379 words in that hour!! I was shocked because when the timer went off, I was sure I had under 1,000. I had stopped so many times to think up the right word or the right way to continue that I knew I had wasted precious writing seconds. I guess I was wrong.

I wanted to experiment with an hour because I was recently in a car accident that caused a bad concussion and has limited my ability to be on my computer for long periods of time. I know that spending more than an 1-2 hours a day is unrealistic at this point so I wanted to see if I could come even close to the 50,000 mark on 30 days. Maybe I can! Maybe if I give myself a set schedule and stick to it, maybe, just maybe I can get out my first shitty draft of a new novel that will be ready to revisit in a few months for editing!

Participating in NaNoWriMo? Let me know in the comments or add me as a writing buddy on NaNoWriMo.org. My author name is rwfranklin. If I can do it, so can you! Let’s keep each other accountable and give each other the encouragement we need!

I think my notebook cover says it best:

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Preparing For My First Conference

I signed up for my first conference and am very excited about it. After making the decision to attend, I realized that I had no idea what I would need to take with me, what I should do while I’m there, or how to prepare to make the best of the event. The particular conference I am going to is a one day conference. I’m looking forward to learning from the speakers and meeting others in the writing community! Since I am new to this experience and needed some help, I started researching. I found that there is quite a bit more than taking a notebook and pen.

According to my research, if I really want to make it count, I need to go on a mini shopping trip. I already have my business cards printed and ready to go (YAY!).

I have a notebook and a reasonably sturdy bag, but I hadn’t even thought about making sure I bring a backup pen or that my pen is completely full. Breath mints…tissues…a folder? Why hadn’t I thought of those things? Oh yeah…because I’ve never done this before.

In case you’ve been in the same situation as me, below are a few links that helped me and I hope they help you!

 

Hopefully, with the help of these articles, I’ll be well prepared for tomorrow’s conference!

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Memory Lane

I took a trip down memory lane tonight and found two manuscripts that I wrote when I was 14. I was blown away to find that I even had one of them in its original, handwritten form!

The storyline isn’t great. The grammar is sloppy. There are plot holes everywhere! What was I thinking? Oh that’s right! I was 14…I wasn’t thinking too hard about anything.

I’ve always loved writing. I really don’t know what took me so long to realize it should be my career! Maybe one day I’ll bring these old, hole-riddled and sloppy manuscripts back to life with a few (ok…A LOT) of editing.

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Set Backs

Over the past couple of months I’ve been experiencing a few set backs. Unforseen events caused me to have to take off of work for a couple weeks and also haulted my writing. This saddens me because writing is what I love to do. I’ve tried to get a few words down from time to time, but now I feel so out of whack and out of sync. I know it’s going to be a struggle getting back into my routine, but hopefully the struggle lessens quickly.

What do you do when your writing has to put on hold? What sort of things do you do to get back into the habit? Let me know in the comments!

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Frustration With Pages – No More!

If you stopped in last week, you may have seen my “Frustration With Pages” blog post. I don’t know what changed in the last week or if I just didn’t wait long enough for my website to update, but things are now working exactly how I want them to work. I was frustrated all week thinking about my blog page not working and not having the time to work on it. I finally had time this morning to log in and check it out. What a welcome surprise to find it working exactly how it should! This opened up time for me to work on other aspects of my website (like finally getting my “About Me” page written and linked).

I’m not sure how much time I’ll have to focus on my writing over the next few weeks as this new course I started is quite intense. Sadly, it will be taking up the majority of my non-working hours. I keep telling myself only another 15 months and I’ll be finished with my Associates degree. After that I will have so much more time to dedicate to writing! I caught a glimpse of that a few weeks ago when I was off school for a week. I can’t believe how much time is freed up when I don’t have to focus on school! I just need to keep my end goal in mind and push through.

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Frustration With Pages

So I’ve been working on this site almost every day. I have the setup I want:

  • A landing page to display the most important information.
  • Links to other pages that will be helpful.
  • An updated theme with my own photo.

Only problem – I can’t figure out my “blog” page. I’ve been Googling and researching like crazy and I don’t get how I can just create a post and have it show up on my “blog” page. I’m sure there’s some way to do it because every tutorial I’ve seen so far says to do exactly what I did. So how do other people make it work??? I use WordPress for my site. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!