Surely there is something better you might say. And I would have to concede that there may be. To me, however, there is very little to naught that compares with it. A possessive, intimate kiss or the arms of a child wrapped tight around the neck. Those may compare. This is something so solitary in sensation that I have been unable to conjure the words to express how it draws me. It calls to me even when I am miles away. A temptress leading me from this world and into that which only exists in black and white. To people I’ve never met, but with whom I’ve had many conversations. To places I know in minute detail, but on whose ground I have never set foot. It drags me like wind pulls snow to drift across a barren road. And when it achieves its goal I too feel complete.
I know it’s been a long time since I posted anything. I know that you are supposed to be consistent if you are going to have blog posts on your page. Yes…I am a terrible blogger! I haven’t updated my actual blog (An Attempt At Release) in forever. Just looked – May of last year. Yikes.
Anyway, I was sitting down to write today and the words above came to me. I feel a sense of peace wash over me when I am getting ready to write. I know it is what I am truly meant to do because it is what brings me the most peace and happiness. I struggle with anxiety, depression, and PTSD, but all of that disappears when I sit down to write. I don’t feel like that broken person when I am sitting in front of my computer writing my stories or poetry. I am just an author telling stories. It is so freeing and I have no idea what can compare to it.
I really only have one major goal for the rest of the year: to finish revision 4 of My Life Is a Dream. All other goals will be secondary. I counted up how many chapters I have to edit, their word count, page count, how many weeks (approximately) it would take to edit them (if I continued working on other things at the same time) and then how many weeks are left in the year. I can do it! I realized I can finish revision 4 by the end of the year!
I’ve been working on this book since November of last year. I started it for NaNoWriMo. I took a break from it in December 2017 and read it for the first time in February of 2018. It was obvious there was work to be done and so I made comments about the changes I wanted to make. That was revision 2.
Revision 3 was a working revision. Some things were fixed immediately while others were commented on and left for a future revision. I did a lot of researching while in revision 3. I had been having (and still have) a hard time classifying my novel. It’s a realistic drama that has a bit of romance and young adult elements although it doesn’t exactly fit into either of those categories. Maybe it would be contemporary? I don’t know and fitting it into a specific genre isn’t my biggest concern right now.
In the middle of revision 3 I was asked the question “What does your character want?”. It stopped me from editing any further. I took two weeks off from the book because I realized that in the middle of my book my character was not progressing. It was a lot of “here’s what she’s doing” but I didn’t give any explanation as to why she was doing what she was doing. I figured out what she wanted and what might get in her way and started revision 4.
Revision 4 has been difficult for me because I keep learning new techniques and gathering tips and tricks from more experienced authors that I want to apply. I have found a lot of ways, I think, to fix what my novel lacked. I also think I am avoiding most amateur mistakes, but I’m an amateur so…who knows. 😉
As I’ve gone through revision 4, I’ve thought to myself “Should I just comment on this and fix it in the next revision?” and “Is this part just too much of a challenge for right now?” I don’t know why I was in a rush to finish the revision, but, thankfully, I always decided against waiting. I’ve now decided that revision 4 will be my final revision before I get it in front of Beta Readers! I’m excited and terrified.
I know that all work needs to be let out into the world at some point. I also know that I could keep editing and keep editing forever and never be satisfied to let anyone see it…EVER! There is a part of me that does not care at all about publishing. I write because I love to write. It’s my passion. I’ve been writing stories for as long as I’ve known how to write. It’s just something in my soul that needs to be let out. Whether the writing is good or bad, I’m not sure. I, of course, would like to think it’s good and I have my little troop of fans (i.e. my husband, parents, family, the usual). I’ve had a few compliments from complete strangers that also give me hope, but in reality, I need to be published to know if my writing is actually worth anything.
Now don’t get things twisted, if I do get something published and I receive wretched reviews, that will not deter me from writing. I just won’t look to the masses for my gratification. My gratification will come from seeing the words trapped in my heart spilling onto the white and black of my screen.
I am, however, veering sharply away from my topic. Goals! 2018 Goals specifically! If you are following me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, please keep me accountable. Ask me how the revision is coming. Remind me to stay on track. Remind me that I can get it done and that, no, it does not need to be perfect before people see it. Beta Readers are bound to find errors, that’s what they’re there for, right? To make it better? Obviously, I should be giving my Beta Readers something polished, but they will see what I’m missing because I’m so close to it, right? Oh geez…now I’m freaking myself out.
This post has been long enough. Thanks for dropping by! Keep writing what you know and love!
I took a trip down memory lane tonight and found two manuscripts that I wrote when I was 14. I was blown away to find that I even had one of them in its original, handwritten form!
The storyline isn’t great. The grammar is sloppy. There are plot holes everywhere! What was I thinking? Oh that’s right! I was 14…I wasn’t thinking too hard about anything.
I’ve always loved writing. I really don’t know what took me so long to realize it should be my career! Maybe one day I’ll bring these old, hole-riddled and sloppy manuscripts back to life with a few (ok…A LOT) of editing.
Over the past couple of months I’ve been experiencing a few set backs. Unforseen events caused me to have to take off of work for a couple weeks and also haulted my writing. This saddens me because writing is what I love to do. I’ve tried to get a few words down from time to time, but now I feel so out of whack and out of sync. I know it’s going to be a struggle getting back into my routine, but hopefully the struggle lessens quickly.
What do you do when your writing has to put on hold? What sort of things do you do to get back into the habit? Let me know in the comments!
If you stopped in last week, you may have seen my “Frustration With Pages” blog post. I don’t know what changed in the last week or if I just didn’t wait long enough for my website to update, but things are now working exactly how I want them to work. I was frustrated all week thinking about my blog page not working and not having the time to work on it. I finally had time this morning to log in and check it out. What a welcome surprise to find it working exactly how it should! This opened up time for me to work on other aspects of my website (like finally getting my “About Me” page written and linked).
I’m not sure how much time I’ll have to focus on my writing over the next few weeks as this new course I started is quite intense. Sadly, it will be taking up the majority of my non-working hours. I keep telling myself only another 15 months and I’ll be finished with my Associates degree. After that I will have so much more time to dedicate to writing! I caught a glimpse of that a few weeks ago when I was off school for a week. I can’t believe how much time is freed up when I don’t have to focus on school! I just need to keep my end goal in mind and push through.
Welcome to my new author page! I’m just starting out and learning as I go so please bare with me as I try to figure all this out.
Who am I: I am a young, aspiring author. I am trying to learn everything I can and enjoy writing more than I enjoy almost anything else in this world. I currently live with my husband and have a beautiful daughter. I work in IT full-time as well as go to school (for IT) full-time. I know, I know. “Why are you going to school for IT if what you want to do is write?” I started school before it fully dawned on me that I could make writing a full-time career. Now that I’ve realized that, I’m a little too far into the program to change things (not to mention my employer is paying for my classes so there’s that as well).
What am I working on: Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time researching everything I can about writing and what it takes to become a published author and to make it a full-time gig. What really prompted this, however, is a book I’ve been working on for about 4 years now. It’s a young adult book about a self-aware robot searching for answers to the mysterious disappearance of her maker.
What to Expect: I will be posting updates when I write a little more in my book. I’ll probably also post links to my other blog when I feel what I’ve written on there is really interesting.
What other ways can you reach me: I now have a few social media sites set up to promote my work. You can reach me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and through my Contact Me page.
Please don’t judge me too harshly for how bare my pages are. I just set these up yesterday and hope to work on them a bit more everyday. I look forward to learning from other authors and if you have any advice, feel free to comment below or contact me directly! Thanks for taking time out of your schedule to get to know me a bit more!
