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Community Overcomes My Intimidation & Fear

I’ve been writing stories and dabbling in poetry for as long as I can remember, but it wasn’t until 2017 that I realized I could pursue it with seriousness. I started researching workshops, conferences, how to get published, community/library events—anything that would help me progress and hone my craft.

I found The Authors’ Zone, Conversations and Connections in Pittsburgh, but most importantly, I found Lit Youngstown. The writers I was connecting with were published, working in the publishing industry, had MFAs, and/or at the very least a degree that aided in their writing career. I had none of these. I’d never even received or given a critique. To say I was intimidated is an understatement.

What became extremely evident, however, is that the writing community is beyond welcoming. Every publisher, editor, and fellow writer I spoke with was more than willing to share their knowledge and the tips they’d learned over the years. They never turned me away or avoided my questions.

The place that has always felt the most like home, though, has always been Lit Youngstown’s Writer’s Circle. Initially, I was so scared to share my work because I thought for sure it would be torn apart and everything would be wrong with every word I wrote, every punctuation mark made. Instead, I was told what worked well and, when told what could be improved, I was given suggestions on how to improve it. That was so important to my growth. I’ve been exposed to such a variety of work. Plays, musicals, flash fiction, sections of novels, memoirs, traditional poetry, experimental poetry…Seriously, such a wide variety in so many voices.

I started going to more Lit Youngstown events. This literary non-profit that never charges more than what’s absolutely necessary (if anything at all) for their workshops and events also does everything in their power to make these events as accessible and beneficial to the communities of Youngstown and the Mahoning Valley as possible.

Even after all the love I’ve received, I still have had doubts about my writing capabilities (as mentioned in previous posts), but the Writer’s Circle has always been there to pick me up.

That was a lot of words to basically say that Lit Youngstown is my writing home.

That being the case, you can understand the overwhelming gratitude and validation this self-taught writer felt when she was asked to serve on the Board of Directors. I feel like this is my opportunity to attempt to give back everything I’ve received. I will do my best to give the readers, writers, and community that Lit Youngstown serves the warm, welcoming embrace that I’ve alway felt.

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My Experience with The Artist’s Way

The Artist's Way

On January 2nd, 2022 (The first day of the first week in January), I began my 12-week journey with The Artist’s Way. I didn’t plan to start it on the first week of the new year, but I’m glad it worked out like that. It was as if I was symbolizing my re-commitment to writing in the form of this 12-week program.

Throughout the weeks that followed, I would periodically Google questions I had about the program and found it difficult to get answers to my questions. I made a lot of assumptions and decisions based on my own preferences and comfort. I don’t know if this was the intention of the process, but it’s all I could do with the information I had. This made me very uncomfortable. When I am following a guide, I like to have some insight on if I’m doing things “right”. In this case, there were many times I had no idea if the process was working properly.

For that reason, I’m going to go into detail about each week. I’ll summarize the majority of things, but there are some tasks I will explicitly call attention to because they are tasks I had issues with and feel there may be other artists that go through the same things I went through.

NOTE: You’ll see me reference things like “W1-T1” and “W4-T10”. This stands for “Week 1-Task 1” and “Week 4-Task 10” (respectively) in the workbook.

Table of Contents

The Setup

Based on my experience, here are a few recommendations I would make for those who want to begin The Artist’s Way.

  1. Buy The Artist’s Way Workbook. Here is a link to it on Amazon, but I’m sure you can find it other places.
  2. Buy a good journal. This is the one I bought and I love it! It contains more pages than you’ll need for the 12-week period, but it has some really nice features (TOC, page numbers, bookmark ribbons, etc.) and no bleed through.
  3. Borrow The Artist’s Way guidebook from your local library or a friend. I’ll explain this in detail under Week 1.
  4. Spend at least a week before you plan to officially start getting familiar with the workbook and taking notes from the guidebook.

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General Tips / Notes

  • Be brutally honest with yourself.
  • Use sticky notes or some way to bookmark pages – you will be referencing previous pages in the workbook frequently.
  • Write small (in the workbook).
  • Even though I will advise doing certain things digitally, I still recommend writing your morning pages longform.
  • Start each new week on a Sunday and plan the week ahead ON Sunday. Complete your check-in on Saturday night. I’m a procrastinator so I tended to push my check-in off until Sunday morning, but that just adds more time to the weekly prep on Sunday.
  • Any time Julia mentioned mailing something to myself, I didn’t. Once, I did, however, type up an email and schedule it to send to myself later in the week (I knew I’d forget about it if I scheduled it to send later). I also didn’t mail anything to anyone else because we’re in the 21st century so…
  • When Julia advises cutting pictures out of magazines, it’s OK to make a Pinterest board or digital collage. You can even print it if you want, but I don’t think it’s strictly necessary to do it with magazines.

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Skimming the Guidebook

The first thing I did was look for any references to the guidebook in the workbook. When I found a reference, I’d go to the guidebook, find the referenced page(s) and take notes. You might have to go a few pages forward or backward depending on the version of guidebook you have. Next, I skimmed through the guidebook looking for any exercises that might be helpful. I will reference the ones I took notes on in each week’s respective section below.

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Artist’s Dates

I am on a budget so expensive artist’s dates were not an option. I spent a lot of time every Sunday looking through Facebook events, Google events, and Eventbrite looking for free or affordable events in my area. Here are a few I did:

  • Sip & Paint (most expensive at around $30)
  • Browsing a bookstore for a few hours (free)
  • Planetarium visit (free)
  • Museum visit (free)
  • Took myself out for lunch (about $15)
  • Art and film events hosted by non-profits in my area (free)

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Weekly Reviews

Week 1: 1/2 – 1/8

Bookmarked Pages

  • Basic Principles (not technically in Week 1, but still needs bookmarked)
  • Task 1 (Affirmations)
  • Task 8 (Imaginary Lives #1)

Exercises/Notes from the Guidebook

  • Creative Affirmations (W1-T1)

Artist’s Date: Sip and Paint

Experience

I spent a lot of time reading during week 1.  I wish I would have done all of this during the week between Christmas and New Year’s. I familiarized myself with the workbook and looked at the various tasks to see what my weeks would look like. I then skimmed through the guidebook. I read the Introduction and Basic Tools sections of the workbook in their entirety and that is when I decided to skim the guidebook.

When reading those two sections, I found (and this is obviously my subjective opinion) Julia Cameron to be overly self-important. There was a lot of you’ll want to complete this book because so-and-so (a friend of Julia’s that you may or may not have heard of) found it extremely helpful and then some more of so and so wrote to me to say that they really loved it and it completely changed their life. It goes on and on. At first I tried reading the guidebook. I kept looking for the places where the book actually explained the process that made it change lives instead of the places where it merely said it changes lives. These pages were few. I can only handle so much peacocking. I tried to keep an open mind, but I decided to skim the guidebook and extract the pieces of information that I felt I would need and then returned it to my library the next day.

I am not religious at all and I struggled with her continuous reference to God and the Creator. It had a very Christiany feel to things and there were many times I had to modify things to get around that terminology.

Be specific with your imaginary lives! You end up writing out about 40 of them and coming up with some at the end is a bit tough.

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Week 2: 1/9 – 1/15

Bookmarked Pages

  • Task 3 (Things You Enjoy Doing / Artist’s Date Ideas)
  • Task 5 (Imaginary Live #2)
  • Task 6 (Life Pie)
  • Task 7 (Tiny Changes)

Exercises/Notes from the Guidebook

  • Rules of the Road

Artist’s Date: Browsed Local Bookstore

Best idea EVER!!

Experience

I admit that I am a bit jaded by experiences in my past regarding religion. The Basic Principles remind me very much of some things from that past and so I was not a fan of them, but like I said earlier, this is just my opinion.

I think this week was really important for taking an honest inventory of how I was spending my time and the things I want to accomplish. It pushed me to stop procrastinating and start making changes. I do spend my time differently now.

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Week 3: 1/16 – 1/22

Bookmarked Pages

  • N/A

Exercises/Notes from the Guidebook

  • Dealing with Criticism
  • Detective Work, An Exercise

Artist’s Date: N/A

I had something scheduled and the weather got in the way. I scheduled something else for later in the week and we had a home repair get in the way. I gave myself grace in week 3.

Experience

Not much to note from this week. Really enjoyed the tasks and figuring out why I gravitate toward the people I do.

She did introduce the idea of synchronicity in the check-ins during this week and, maybe because I didn’t actually read the guidebook, I didn’t fully understand what I should be looking for. I knew I was looking for things lining up or falling into place at the perfect time, but it was hard to pinpoint those things when looking back over my week.

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Week 4: 1/23 – 1/29

Bookmarked Pages

  • Task 5 (Toys for My Artist)
  • Task 6 (My Artist’s Prayer – I ended up writing this on a separate piece of paper and using it as a bookmark in my Morning Pages journal, see W11-T2 mini task)

Exercises/Notes from the Guidebook

  • Honest Changes (will be referenced in W11-T2)
  • Buried Dreams, An Exercise
  • Reading Deprivation Alternative List (W4-T10)
  • An Artist’s Prayer (My workbook referenced pages 207-208, but it was actually on page 223 of the guidebook I had)

Artist’s Date: Take and Make Craft from my library

Experience

W4-T1 needs updated. Many of the tasks need updated. I know there are still many people that read magazines. I, however, do not have any magazines that I am willing to cut to pieces or that would actually capture the imagery I need for this task. I also am not willing to buy magazines for the sole purpose of cutting them up because I don’t have that kind of money. Digital photos for the win!

W4-T2 should probably have an alternative option. What if an 80-year-old wants to complete this workbook?

As I’ve mentioned, I’m not religious. I really did not like Julia’s Artist’s Prayer. Because I like to keep an open mind, I took some time to think about how I could approach this prayer idea from a different angle. This is what I came up with (more of a prayer to myself to be a better person):

May I grow more creative with each passing day.
May I learn to set aside time for my artist to grow.
May I allow myself more freedom to err.
May my writing impact lives in a positive manner.
May my actions and words be used for good.
The good of those around me as well as the food of myself.
May my mind stay open to the thoughts and experiences of those who are different from me.
May I be support to other artists I interact with.
May I learn to accept myself as I am.
May I learn to take less stock in what others think of me so that I am free to be myself.on for this block. Use this space for describing your block. Any text will do. Description for this block. You can use this space for describing your block.

I completely skipped W4-T8. I had recently donated old clothes to Goodwill and I also don’t buy clothes that give me “low-self-worth”. This is another task that I felt could use an alternative option, such as “Find something in your house that gives you negative feelings every time you see it” or something along those lines.

I also didn’t really do a “reading deprivation”. I didn’t read any books in Week 4, but I did read articles online and browsed social media. Not sure if those count or not.

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Week 5: 1/30 – 2/5

Bookmarked Pages

  • Task 2 (Image File)
  • Task 3 (Imaginary Lives #3)

Exercises/Notes from the Guidebook

  • The Virtue Trap
  • Forbidden Joys, An Exercise
  • Wish List, An Exercise

Artist’s Date: Extended Artist’s Date

You can read about my Extended Artist’s Date here.

Experience

W5-T1 was another assumption on Julia’s part. I believe in a supportive God so coming up with grievances was very difficult. I think it took me all week and the grievances were weak.

I just could not remember to do W5-T2…or maybe I just didn’t see images of my desires? I don’t know. Either way, I didn’t clip any images, save them to a Pinterest board, or do anything else with this. I bookmarked it so I could refer back to it and remember what I was looking for, but never really did it.

I can’t draw. I am not that type of artist by any means. But I still did W5-T8. So can you. 😉

I really liked the exercises from the guidebook for this week. I felt they were helpful.

In this check-in, Julia mentions the “page-and-a-half ‘truth point’”. I have no idea what she’s talking about. Maybe I looked at Morning Pages the wrong way. I thought they were supposed to be a recording of whatever was on my mind, which usually just ended up being whatever happened the previous day. Some days I wrote deep stuff. Some days were filled with “I don’t know what to write about”. But I never got halfway through and thought now here’s where I get into the meat of it. Sometimes that happened right away, sometimes not at all. Another assumption on Julia’s behalf that we are all the same.

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Week 6: 2/6 – 2/12

Bookmarked Pages

  • N/A

Exercises/Notes from the Guidebook

  • Counting, An Exercise
  • Money Madness, An Exercise
  • An Artist’s Prayer

Artist’s Date: Lunch at a local café to read.

Sorry, no special picture or social media post to go along with this one. 😊

Experience

I was extremely frustrated with W6-T1. I wanted to yell “WE DON’T ALL LIVE IN CALIFORNIA WHERE IT’S SUNSHINE AND DAISIES ALL YEAR ROUND, JULIA!!” When I got to this task there was a foot of snow on the ground. There should be an alternative to pressing leaves or flower petals. I took the essence of this task to be pushing the participant toward doing something childlike and whimsical (even uses that word in the task description) so I took some time to think up a solution. I found an indoor photo scavenger hunt and did that instead.

On the page for W6-T3 there is a mini task that advises you to send postcards to 5 friends. Here’s the thing: I have the phone numbers of all the friends I would love to hear from (it’s less than 5, but I could stretch it for this task), but I don’t have all of their addresses. I would have to call or text a few of them to get their addresses. Then they wouldn’t be getting surprise postcards. I skipped it. Another task that needs updated to the 21st century. (Side note: about a month later, I ended up going to dinner with all of them as we are all in the same circle of friends).

I do not understand W6-T6. Is Julia trying to say that over the 6 weeks of doing this workbook my financial situation should have changed?

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Week 7: 2/13 – 2/19

Bookmarked Pages

  • Task 1 (Morning Mantra)

Exercises/Notes from the Guidebook

  • The Jealousy Map, An Exercise
  • Archeology, An Exercise

Artist’s Date: Film Night hosted by Lit Youngstown

Experience

I, again, modified a task—W7-T5—because I was not going to buy 10 magazines just to shred them for the pictures. I went through Pinterest and some other sites and collected pictures and made a digital collage of photos. I don’t often buy things for myself unless it’s a special occasion (birthday or I receive a submission acceptance) so the mini task associated here was also a good exercise in doing something nice for myself for no reason at all.

For the Jealousy Map, I found it easiest to put it in table format (example below).

NameWhyAction Antidote
Jane SmithFull-time writerWrite for an hour every day
John DoeWrites excellent dialogueGo to more workshops

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Week 8: 2/20 – 2/26

Bookmarked Pages

  • N/A

Exercises/Notes from the Guidebook

  • Early Patternings, An Exercise
  • Affirmations

Artist’s Date: Support Through Expressive Arts hosted by NAMI Mahoning Valley

Experience

I ended up putting W8-T5 in a Google Sheets doc because it just made more sense than trying to cram all that info onto the workbook page.

This week was really good for laying out my goals and realizing just how important writing is to me.

Early Patternings was…interesting. I found Julia making soooo many assumptions. I especially took issue with numbers 5, 13, and 16. The whole thing felt like she was trying to push toward something that isn’t there in everyone’s life. My parents didn’t exactly guide me toward a career in writing, but they also didn’t discourage my love of it. They encouraged me to write for fun, but it was always clear that the arts were viewed as side hustles and not careers. I don’t see anything they ever did as negative reinforcement. I also didn’t have poor relationships with any of my teachers so the phrasing of the statements in this exercise felt very pointed and wrong for my situation. I understand that not everyone is as lucky as I am. I feel very lucky to not have memories of people shooting down my art, but this is just another example of Julia assuming that every has had the same life/background. I, again, made major modifications to suit my experiences.

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Week 9: 2/27 – 3/5

Bookmarked Pages

  • Task 2 (Goal Visualization)

Exercises/Notes from the Guidebook

  • Blasting Through Blocks

Artist’s Date: Lunch at a local coffee shop to read

Another time that I didn’t document my date.

Experience

W9-T1: I did not read all of my Morning Pages. I could list my excuses, but I won’t. In the pages I did read, I saw themes. They also help me see some things in myself that I had not recognized before that I do want to change.

W9-T4: Another assumption. I’m not the type to pursue something without completing it. Also, if I had made a U-turn, why assume I would want to bring it back? Sometimes U-turns are made for a reason. SMH.

Blasting Through Blocks was a good exercise to help me see why I haven’t published my two completed novels even though I am focusing on a new novel.

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Week 10: 3/6 – 3/12

Bookmarked Pages

  • Task 4 (Bottom Line)
  • Task 5 (One Lovely Thing)

Exercises/Notes from the Guidebook

  • The Workaholism Quiz

Artist’s Date: Browsed a local bookstore

Experience

I answered the questions for W10-T3 in a Google Doc because there was nowhere near enough room in the workbook for it.

W10-T5 was very hard for me. Actually, just number 5. I kept forgetting about it, but I also find it very hard to make time to pamper myself. So something as small as setting aside 30 minutes to read was very hard for me to do. I only accomplished to do something “lovely” for myself 3 out of the 4 days. 😔

I’m a nerd and like stats so I put the answers to The Workaholism Quiz into a Google Sheets doc so that I can analyze my answers. I also added a “Notes” column because I felt I needed to explain a few of my answers to my future self who comes back to read my answers.

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Week 11: 3/13 – 3/19

Bookmarked Pages

  • Task 4 (Five Ways to Nurture Myself)
  • Task 5 (One Week’s Nurturing)

Exercises/Notes from the Guidebook

  • N/A

Artist’s Date: Attended a literary webinar

We played some bingo while the writer talked. Can you guess which writer was on the webinar?

Experience

I saved the answers for W11-T1 in a Google Doc because, again, there is just not enough space in the workbook. Also see the image below:

Sorry for the strong language, but that was my first and only thought. There are 3 reasons:

  1. I am not a fan of the Basic Principles (too churchy / religious sounding for my taste).
  2. I couldn’t think of a single essay from the book that I would want to use.
  3. I hate listening to my own voice so there is no way I could use it for meditation.

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Week 12: 3/20 – 3/26

Bookmarked Pages

  • N/A

Exercises/Notes from the Guidebook

  • Core Negative Beliefs

Artist’s Date: Support Through Expressive Arts hosted by NAMI Mahoning Valley

Experience

Again, in W12-T4, Julia got a little too religious for my blood. Not everyone shares this belief in God. I may believe in God, but I also believe that I have to work through my fears and emotions. I can’t just say “God’s got it” and things will be fixed. I know I’m not the only artist that feels this way. I did not make a God jar.

I did not complete W12-T7.

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Creativity Contract

I gave myself license to modify the contract. I am not requiring weekly artist’s dates, but will continue to do them on a semi-regular basis. I nixed the entire line about choosing a creative colleague because I don’t really feel a need for it right now.

Summary

The main takeaway should be: Don’t be afraid to tailor the tasks to your needs or beliefs. There were many times I modified wording or completely changed the task because it just didn’t fit my lifestyle (or the technology of today). I understand you are supposed to commit to the process, but one can only commit so much when their life is so different from Julia’s.

Even though I changed things so much, I do understand why Julia set it up the way she did. Her faith is obviously a large part of her life. That’s just not the way it is for everyone.

I still keep up with several things: morning pages, artist’s dates (just not every week), and paying attention to what nurtures me and what doesn’t. I’ve been going for walks more and giving myself freedom to accomplish more throughout the day by procrastinating less and overcoming my depression and anxiety more.

I’d say to keep an open mind, but also be true to yourself.

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My First Extended Artist’s Date

If you’ve been following me on social media, then you know that I’ve been working my way through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I started my 6th week yesterday.

Every week I’m supposed to do what’s called an “Artist’s Date”. This is basically a couple of hours where I take my artist (the writer in me) on a date and do something just for me. I’m not allowed to take anyone with me and I’m not allowed to “work” during these dates (meaning no writing/editing or reading my writing to other people). It’s purely for enjoyment. I will probably recap my entire experience with The Artist’s Way once I’m done with the 12-week program, but for now I’m just going to recap Saturday’s experience.

During my 4th week I was supposed to go on an “Extended” Artist’s Date. This is where you take a full day (instead of just a couple hours) to do fun things. I didn’t realize I was supposed to do it until it was too late to do it on Sunday and I have no time to do it during the week because of work. On the following Saturday, we were spending time with my stepdaughter and that time is really precious to me so I wasn’t going to skip it. I decided to modify the plan a bit and push it back a week. That meant that Saturday (during my 5th week), I had an extended Artist’s Date.

I started out the day by going to the Butler Institute of American Art. I’ve heard amazing things about this museum but have never been there myself and have always wanted to go. More on this to come. Although I spent about 2 hours in the museum, I cut my perusal short because I wanted to make it to the 2:00 show at the Ward Beecher Planetarium. After a trip through the stars that extended to the universe, I took myself out for what I like to call “Lunner” (a meal kind of between lunch and dinner). Then I headed over to the theater to watch Spider-Man: No Way Home in 3D…in Luxury Loungers of course! In total I was gone for about 10 hours.

In all honesty, I could have come home at about the 6-hour mark (shortly after I finished eating), but I had already paid for the movie ticket, popcorn, and drink, so I went. I’m one of those people…I missed my husband. Weekends are usually our time to spend together and I just plain old missed him. Not to mention I’d already seen the movie (just not in 3D). I just couldn’t find any other movies I wanted to see and it was worth seeing again so I went with it as something to fill the rest of the day. Loved seeing my favorite Spider-Man again (for those of you who know, you know 😉…I hope.)

Below are some highlights from each stop.

Butler Institute of American Art

I cannot emphasize enough that if you are in town and have time, you need to visit this place!! There is so much to see and so many amazing artists on display! It’s phenomenal how photorealistic artists can paint. I didn’t capture the most realistic pieces because I was mostly capturing the pieces that I will use in the future to inspire stories or characters, but damn if there weren’t some paintings that made me do a double-take because I thought they were blown up photographs. I’m definitely going back for other Artist’s Dates and no, I am not including all of my pictures here. That would be way too many.

I would love to say this was the 1st piece I saw and also my favorite. But in reality, it was the 3rd (but it IS my favorite). The faces of the models are haunting to me. Their eyes say so much.

Americans, Youngstown
“Americans, Youngstown” (1977-78) by Alfred Leslie

At first I thought this installation (forgive me if it’s not considered an installation. I took a drawing class in middle school and that’s as far as I got with art) wasn’t very interesting, but then I looked closer. The more I looked, the more intrigued I became. Inspiration began to strike. I began snapping photos.

Night Garden Wall
“Night Garden Wall” (1958-63) by Louise Nevelson
Seated Security Guard 2 - Art
“Seated Security Guard Guard #2 ‘Art'” by Marc Sijan

Legit started to ask this guy a question before realizing he wasn’t real. I think the mask really sells it. 😂

I am in LOVE with this painting. From the colors to the forms to the expressions to the guy with the glasses. I’m intrigued. I have questions. I want to write the answers.

Carnival At Sunset
“Carnival At Sunset” (1984) by Jack Levine
The Stryker Sisters
“The Stryker Sisters” (1787) by Ralph Earl

Inspiration for the twins in The Shining maybe?

I honestly don’t even remember hearing the sounds of this room until I actually looked at the first machine. I was so transfixed by the artwork in the gallery before this room that I completely blocked out the noise.

Various sound installations by George Rhoads

There is an exhibit dedicated to the West. It’s such a beautiful exhibit. I hope it continues to grow and that people have the same experience viewing the art as I did.

Chief Big Nose (Southern Cheyenne)
“Chief Big Nose” (Southern Cheyenne – 1898) by Joseph Henry Sharp
Sin-Sin (Columbia, Nes Pilem, WA)
“Sin-Sin” (Columbia, Nes Pilem, WA – 1899) by Elbridge Ayer Burbank

Ward Beecher Planetarium

Not much to show for this excursion because we’re obviously not allowed to use cameras during the show, but they displayed some cute riddles and facts while we waited. It was cool learning what to look for in tonight’s wintery sky and that the North Star is NOT the brightest star in our sky (the brightest star is actually Sirius). We also watched an animated film called Beyond The Sun that talked about exoplanets and the search for other habitable planets outside our solar system.

Lunner

I enjoyed an Old Fashioned and The Tender Bar while I ate (along with a short conversation with an older gentleman about the decline of paper books and he encouraged me to continue reading them before he left).

Spider-Man: No Way Home 3D

Great movie. Second time seeing it. Recommend it, but only if you’ve seen all the other Spider-Man and MCU movies. Pretty sure the little kids in the theater did not get the majority of the references in the film, but hopefully they still enjoyed it.

Don’t worry – this was taken during the ads and NOT during the actual movie. 😉

Home

Finally coming home to this happy face jumping up to give me hugs and kisses.

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Re-Learning How to Write

“I don’t believe in my writing anymore.” I admitted to my husband this weekend. He immediately turned down the radio and shifted in his seat to face me, asking me what I meant. “I just don’t feel like what I’ve written has any value.”

I knew something was wrong when I was preparing to attend my first in-person Writer’s Circle (hosted by Lit Youngstown) since the beginning of the pandemic. I was trying to find something to share and have critiqued. I was struggling to find something worth being read aloud to my peers. I’ve struggled with this in the past, but only because I would be debating which of my pieces needed the critique the most. This was a whole new struggle. Things I had been proud of prior to 2021 no longer seemed to hold any value. I found something, but while reading it felt it didn’t stack up. I was also quieter than normal during our meeting. I didn’t feel I was in much of a position to give feedback because my mind just couldn’t see what was good and what was bad like it once had.

Why was I suddenly feeling like this? To answer that, I’ll need to give you some back story. In 2019, I started teaching myself how to code. I would spend a few days a week learning HTML, CSS, and JavaScript. But throughout 2019 and 2020, I kept up my writing schedule to an extent. COVID threw a wrench in the majority of my extracurricular writing activities, but I continued writing at home. I even went to my writer’s residency and completed one of my novels. My writing wasn’t suffering, but my ability to learn coding effectively was.

In January of 2021 I started working with a coding coach and realized that if I wanted to succeed in coding and land a job as a web developer any time soon, I needed to focus more time and energy on it. I put writing on the backburner. I didn’t think this would affect my ability to write once the time came for me to pick it back up. I thought, if anything, it would just affect my ability to participate in some of the workshops being offered in my area or my ability to work on ideas I had in the moment.

Fast forward to this past weekend. I’ve had a new job as a web developer for 2 weeks. I am no longer teaching myself to code on nights and weekends. This past weekend I was attending the 5th Annual Fall Literary Festival. I didn’t go into it with any grand expectations. I was simply hoping to gain some inspiration and get my brain to re-focus and locate the headspace I need to get back into writing. I did that. I found the inspiration I need, but not the belief in myself and my writing. I thought the two would come hand in hand. They, apparently, don’t.

I think what is really frustrating to me is that I had a lot of momentum picking up as I came into 2021. I had finished one of my novels, I had been published 3 times, I was getting used to the submission process, I had a semi-regular writing schedule, and now that is all gone and I’m starting over. I think what I need to do is remind myself I’m still that writer. Just because I’m having some trouble picking up where I left off doesn’t mean I can’t get back to where I was.

This doesn’t have a happy ending where I found my inspiration AND faith in myself. I don’t have any nuggets of wisdom for someone going through the same struggle. I don’t even have any advice for myself moving forward. But I wanted to share this with you, my reader, in case you find yourself in a similar situation. Know that you are not alone.

I think my husband had it right when he compared it to working an atrophied muscle. I will just need to work it one day at a time until I’ve regained the lost muscle. For now, I am going to spend a lot of time writing shitty first drafts. I’m going to continue hosting the YMCA Writing Group and going to the Writer’s Circle. With any luck and determination, I’ll get back to my former self.

I’ll just end it with this quote from Anne Rice because it is extremely appropriate for me right now:

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A Tribute to Ross Gay

I wrote this small piece about Ross Gay a few months ago and haven’t known what to do with it. Finally I decided it’s been long enough. So here is my two cents about Ross Gay:

Ross Gay. Everyone in my writing circle talks about Ross Gay like he is some sort of poet rock god. Like he is a legend among legends. Like maybe even the gods didn’t create him. Instead every phenomenal poet that has ever walked the earth breathed their last breath into creating this one pure and fantastical god-man that conjures words from someplace deeper than his soul. I’ve never even laid eyes on his words and I’m desperate to drink in their restorative nutrients. I hear the name Ross Gay and I instantly regret not attending his reading that took place a few months ago. It happened months ago and I’m still hearing lecturers reference it and poets’ eyes roll into the backs of their heads when they talk about how articulate he was. In this one class, the presenter read one of his pieces and, until she discredited herself as not doing it justice, I thought she had done quite well. Once she explained how much better he was at reading his own work, I felt she was a fraud. How dare she read his work if she is unable to deliver it with the same raw talent as he.

You see Ross, you are something of an anomaly. You are a snowflake on the tip of my tongue at the age of 34. You are a passionate kiss in the hallway while Christmas dinner guests wait at the table. You are a hand sliding along the hem of my skirt, under the cloth, fingers grazing, but becoming hungrier as they inch up the skin of my thigh. You are an act of exhilaration. We, the writers of the world, don’t know how to handle you. Can you come back later and see if things have changed?

Ross Gay Reads at the 2015 National Book Awards
retrieved from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/katexic/25512905730
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My First Writer’s Residency

I am beyond grateful to the Orchard Keeper Writer’s Residency for the opportunity to spend a week, of peace and quiet and seclusion in which to finish my book. From May 31st to June 6th, I spent time in the hills of Tennessee writing, reading, going for walks, and being separated from social media and other distractions.

It was an eight hour drive from home to my destination. My drive involved driving around cities on eight lane highways, through mountains, and even down one lane roads in the middle of the country. I made it to OKWR safe and sound. The weather was gorgeous and the drive easy.

I met Denton face to face for the first time since being awarded this residency in September of 2019. I was originally scheduled to attend this residency in March but then COVID-19 happened and Denton, graciously, offered to push my date back. He has been accommodating and communicative during the entire process of setting up my residency. He was also willing to let me bring my emotional support dog, Lily, with me.

When we met in person, he seemed very conscious of the fact that I was a woman in a strange place talking to an unfamiliar man. I was so appreciative of the fact that he didn’t try to come inside with me. He explained everything to me from the yard. He made me feel very comfortable.

Part of Sunday evening was spent unpacking and making things comfortable. Then I realized I had plenty of time for writing so I jumped straight in.

Monday and Tuesday were spent writing and then spent writing some more. I was in the zone! I did take breaks every hour and a half to two hours to walk Lily. The weather was beautiful. The sun was shining and there were big, white, puffy clouds in the sky. The property was big enough to take Lily on decent walks and she was loving the space! All said and done I wrote 25,000+ words between the two days.

As a reward for the work I completed in two days, I took Lily to the Cumberland Gap National Historic Park on Wednesday. We went to a beautiful overlook and I ended up being able to stand in two places at once; straddling the Virginia and Kentucky state line. After driving back down the winding road filled with hairpin turns, we went on a little walk on their beautiful paved trails. I would love to go back to visit this park again. It is massive and has so many picnic areas and trails.

Panoramic

I came back to the OKWR and wrote for the rest of the afternoon. By that time I was ahead of schedule with my book. By Thursday around 2pm I finished writing my book. I was a day and a half ahead of schedule!! I am now ready to submit to publishers!

I spent Friday reading and working on some of my short stories and, finally, packing. I left Saturday morning and had a wonderful drive back home. It only rained Friday morning until about 11:30am and the weather was beautiful every other part of the week. The sun shone and it was either warm or hot.

There were so many benefits to this residency.

  • It’s quiet (except for the occasional cow mooing).
  • It’s set up perfectly for writing.
  • It’s disconnected (aka fewer distractions).
  • There’s a library with plenty of writing references and reading material.
  • The surrounding mountains are gorgeous!
  • It’s extremely affordable!
  • It’s close to the Cumberland Gap National Historic Park (so you can take a break, if needed).
  • There is a Dollar General only 5 minutes away for quick shopping trips.

There are also some cons.

  • It’s secluded. This is not for people who want to be close to the city.
  • There is no WiFi and limited cell reception. I was unable to back up my work online the entire week.
  • The nearest large store is a Walmart and it is not a supercenter (did not realize how different they are until this trip).
  • There is minimal cooking supplies.

This was my first residency ever and it was an excellent experience for me. The cons I listed did not bother me as much as I thought they would. I really thought that not having an internet connection would drive me insane, but I think it was a benefit. If I had really wanted to, I’m sure I could have found a coffee house or restaurant in a 4G area to use my hotspot (or that has free WiFi), but I didn’t feel the need. I backed up as soon as I got home.

I think this would be a good residency for any artist looking to get some serious work done. You will have few distractions unless you create them for yourself. Reading and walking my dog were my biggest distractions. Good luck to any future residents heading to this spot and thank you again to Denton for sharing this space!

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Accomplishments and Purposeful Setbacks

A lot has happened in the last couple of months. I was awarded runner up in Lit Youngstown’s 2019 Short Short Fiction Contest. I had a poem published in The Jenny, a Youngstown State University student run publication. I received final confirmation for my writer’s residency with Orchard Keepers Writer’s Residency in Tennessee. I am starting a writing club with my local YMCA. And lastly, I put writing on the back burner to make time to teach myself how to code.

The Short Short Fiction Contest “win” was unexpected and appreciated beyond words. I love that the story I wrote and is one of my favorites was picked as runner up by an organization so dear to my heart. Reading it in front of my family and friends was also nerve-wracking, but it went well.

When I was notified by The Jenny that Gypsy Lane was going to be published in their Fall 2019 issue, I was in shock. I had barely worked on that poem and it is one of the oddest things I have ever written. I submitted 2 additional poems to them that were not selected. They were more conventional and way less…weird, but the staff of The Jenny liked Gyspy Lane more. Poetry is subjective and Gypsy Lane was the subject of the day. ❤️

My absolute favorite confirmation of the last 2 months is the Orchard Keepers Writer’s Residency!!!! A week away from distractions…and I get to take #PrincessLily?!?! Yes please!! I still can’t believe I was lucky enough to land this. I’m going to work on my novel and finish the last part of a short story for my niece.


Some of you may already know this, but I try to write a story for my nieces and nephews every Christmas. I’ve been writing my oldest niece the same story for about 4 years and I’m going to finish it before her 18th birthday (which is in August of 2020). I can’t wait for the full week of writing!!

I still have a few items out on submittable and have a few more in mind to submit. I am, however, not writing as often because I am teaching myself to code. I hate driving. I drive 50 minutes to work and 50 minutes back home. I am stressed during both drives and it triggers my PTSD a lot. I am learning how to become a Full Stack Developer so I can work from home and drive less, but it is taking away a lot of my writing time.

I used to write at least every Sunday, but now I code on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. This is of course on top of my normal 40+ hour job. I write in the small moments of quiet when no one else is around. I write in the chaotic booms of laughter and chatter and conversation when everyone thinks I’m just checking my phone again. I write any chance I get, which is not often. That will soon change as well.

Every second Tuesday of the month, starting January 14th, I will be facilitating a writing club at my local YMCA. It has a simple purpose. To provide writers of all ages with a distraction-free space for 2 hours of writing. We will even share what we’ve written if anyone wants to. I am excited to know I will have at least 2 hours a month of writing time.

Now that the holidays are almost over, I hope things calm down and I can get my house back in order and start prepping for these new, exciting challenges.

What do you have coming up that’s new or even old but you’re trying to put a new spin on it? Has anyone else had to put their writing on the back burner for any reason? What did you do to release your creative energy?

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100 Days of Writing

On July 31st of 2018 I set a few goals for myself. I wanted to actively invest time in my writing career and I wanted to start sending work out for publication. I started scheduling time out of my week to write. I began tracking any time I spent writing (or performing a writing activity) in a time keeping app. I’ve been tracking how many words I write on any given day. I’ve learned a bit about myself over that time…besides that fact that I really, really, really like numbers. So here is a sneak peak into my writing life:

Note: The averages are based on how many times I wrote on that particular day of the week.

Most people probably think this is overboard tracking, but I LOVE numbers. I love knowing that I have increased the time I spend doing “writerly” things by over 1.2% this year. I love knowing that I have written a total of 76,496 words in the last 14 months and that almost all of those words were written on Sundays.

Since today marked my 100th day of writing since this tracking started, I figured I would share this with my writer friends. If you are interested in using the spreadsheet I made to track your own work, send me a message. I’ll be happy to share it!

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Water Torture

I am so excited to share the news that I have been awarded runner-up of Lit Youngstown’s Short Short Fiction Open Contest for the 2019 Fall Literary Festival. Lit Youngstown has a special place in my heart and it is such an honor to have been awarded second place. I know there were so many talented writers who submitted their well-crafted stories and I can’t wait to hear some of them at the Fall Literary Festival. The winner of the Open Contest is Marlene H. Mikan with her story titled “The Rickshaw Ride”. If you are in the area, please come to the 2nd Floor Lounge at the Hilton DoubleTree in Downtown Youngstown on Saturday, October 5th at 7:00pm for a reading which is free and open to the public. Not only will I be reading as a finalist of the contest, but the contest winner, and keynote speaker, George Ella Lyon, will be speaking as well. It is sure to be a wonderful evening!

RW Franklin Runner-Up
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“Asha: Flash Fiction by RW Franklin”

It is truly hard for me to contain my smile when I see those words in large, impossible-to-miss letters on someone else’s website! I have wanted this for years and for years I wasn’t exactly sure how to even get to this point.

Asha was published by Five:2:One magazine for their #thesideshow series. When they sent me a message stating they had accepted the piece, I was beyond excited. I can’t even describe how it felt, but it still didn’t feel quite real because it wasn’t available. My friends and family were asking for the link, but I couldn’t share one because I didn’t have it yet.

So I waited. Then I waited more. I didn’t receive any word from F2O on when it would be published so I just kept checking their Twitter and Facebook feeds. I started out checking them daily and then my hype slowed and I would forget to check. Yesterday I decided to check again and discovered they had posted my story on Friday!

I jumped out of my seat, freaking out #PrincessLily and #KingGus in the process. They had no idea what was going on as I jumped up and down and in a circle in my living room. “It’s published! I’m a published author!” I said over and over to myself and to my pets. My husband wasn’t home from work yet so the pets were the first to find out.

I called my husband and asked him where he was and he, of course, asked in return why I was “talking like that and out of breath”. “Because I’m a PUBLISHED AUTHOR! They posted it!” I said barely able to contain the adrenaline inside my body.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude to my husband for how much he has supported me. He has never tried to interfere with my writing time or events. When I mention I want something to make my writing life more productive, he gets it. He pushes me to attain this goal of becoming a full-time writer—that’s what it is now: a goal, not a dream. It’s attainable and not the far-fetched idea I thought it was in high school.

I appreciate the support and encouragement I have received from my friends and family, but even more than that, I appreciate my local writing community. Lit Youngstown’s Third Thursday Writer’s Circle helped me workshop this piece and I believe their critique is part of the reason it was accepted.

I’m writing this like I got some sort of giant book deal, but even though this is a super small, unpaid acceptance in the grand scheme of things, this is a major step for my writing goals/dreams. I never, ever thought I would actually get something published.

Trust me: this is the first of many pieces you will see from RW Franklin.